Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
