Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We just shotgunned beers for America
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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