i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
