i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
