We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
