My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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