Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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