Umm I'm too high to move.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The air was thick with penises
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize