she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
