Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
