Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
