just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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