Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
