you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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