I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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