i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
