Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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