Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
