I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
two words...techno handjob
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
