I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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