Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
This is my gift to your gina
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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