i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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