since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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