So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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