i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
