I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
