Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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