I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
