3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
