Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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