We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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