even my farts smell like vagina
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize