There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
