Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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