What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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