my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
