So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
