The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize