He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
