what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
