it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Randomize
