so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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