You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My penis needs a shock collar
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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