then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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