you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
