I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
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