So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
