oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
