My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
