At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
This is the high leading the old right now
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
