i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
