Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize