Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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