At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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