fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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