Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I FOUND THE LEGS
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
