So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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