Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
