I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You have to summon your inner elephant
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
