You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
