VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
