How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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