Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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