we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
