plz talk dirty to me
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
