I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
