i think i have herpe
just one?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
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