Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
