hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
