yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize