He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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