Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
