So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
