You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
