I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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