Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
